Toni Lepeska
When a Parent Dies
Can dead people warn us of impending danger? Do they provide the grown up equivalent of “don’t run with scissors?” That’s a dicey question for a Christian to ask because the Bible tells us that God doesn’t want us to try to communicate with the dead. I hope my fellow believers haven’t already tuned out. …
I walked from the night into the veterinarian’s office with blood smeared on my arms, caked on my T-shirt and dried into the crevices of my toenails. I’d nursed a lot of animals before, but I’d never seen so much blood. At the sight of my baby’s wet, dripping, red paws, I had initially thought …
I bet you inherited books. Maybe a Bible. Or a series of recipe books. Or maybe like me, you inherited enough books to fill a small library, too many to ever read during your busy life. What are you to do with them all? I suggest you examine them closely before deciding to haul them …
What am I supposed to be? At different times in our lives we may ask this question or versions of it. Our sense of purpose – what am I to be? – is wrapped up in our identity – who am I? Nothing shakes identity’s foundation more violently than death. We were spouses, but now …
I hiked up the hill of the pasture with a destination in mind. Nearly two decades earlier, I had taken the same route after losing the man I loved. He’d abandoned me for another woman. For as long as I remember, my parents’ pasture has been my go-to place when grieved or troubled. It was …
What is the single biggest component of finding healing within grief, besides expressing it? Embracing the new. Inviting what’s next into our lives. Believing we can love and laugh again. Today is the first day of spring. I hadn’t noticed until I received a life-changing phone text this afternoon, and then I realized the irony. …
I wonder if my mother was beautiful. I wonder if we shared the same hair color. If her eyes were blue. If she grinned when she held me. If she held me. I wonder if she thinks of me. Surely she must think of me. At least on my birthday. These are things normal daughters …
I’m thrilled about the direction my life is headed, but a month ago I was too sick and worn down to make such a statement. Do you feel beat up by life? By illness? By grief? As I did, you probably are looking for a comeback, for a way to get back in the game …
We’re all grown up but aren’t there days when we wish we had our mommies? Our mommies held us when we were frightened, kissed our boo-boos and stood by our sick beds, wiping our brows of sweat. We’re possibly most vulnerable when we’re sick. It’s one of the times we wish we had mom back. …
