Toni Lepeska
When a Parent Dies
With the sanctuary lights up and the pastor in the pulpit, they stand. They tower above me like a forest. A forest of women. I am small. An unimportant insect. Applause breaks out. It isn’t for me. It has never been for me. This is perhaps the most difficult moment of Mother’s Day. It is …
We’re all grown up but aren’t there days when we wish we had our mommies? Our mommies held us when we were frightened, kissed our boo-boos and stood by our sick beds, wiping our brows of sweat. We’re possibly most vulnerable when we’re sick. It’s one of the times we wish we had mom back. …
I don’t want to tell you that I’m grieving again. Not that I ever really stopped, but after eight years without my Mom, it wasn’t intruding into my every hour or day in that heartbreaking way. But lately, it has – in that heartbreaking way. In that way that hinders sleep. In that way that …
I stared into the sky at the black hole ringed with white-hot fire. I’d never seen anything like this before in my life. It was unearthly. Alien. Tears flooded my eyes. Awe flooded my soul. My mother taught me to gaze into the cosmos as a girl. She walked into the front yard, brought the …
What is the good of grief? Is there anything we can snatch from the jaws of death? Or is it a final defeat – senseless, purposeless and meaningless? My mother died eight years ago today. I remember feeling the sense of total defeat for her. I was still alive. I might rise from the ashes …
Memphis’ first snow of the season reminded me of my daddy, and got me to thinking about how differently we can mourn the loss of each parent. Dad grew up in Connecticut and had a lot more experience with fierce winters than me. He once won a snowball fight so completely that I opened my …
