Grief & Growth Mark Death Anniversary
On the 20th anniversary of her father's death, a daughter recalls how loss forced her to grow up.
Why Losing a Mother Is So Hard
I cannot help but recall what happened at this hospital 15 years ago. My mother’s march toward death began in a room like this, a hand sanitizer station fixed to a wall, tubes for oxygen behind a bed. I am here for minor surgery on my mother-in-law, but as I settle in for a long …
Fixing Father’s Day
My father’s photograph hangs in our hallway. I am horrible at decorating. I did not nail it there. My husband did. That might not seem terribly odd except I did not ask him to nail up the picture. And … my husband never knew my dad. He had died before I met Richard. Nonetheless, Richard …
Tornado: The Roar in the Night
You never forget the roar. I was 8 years old when a tornado terrorized my family as we tried to survive in perhaps the worst possible structure to shelter us. I was tucked under the covers when the bedroom light came on, and the next thing I knew, my mother had pulled me out of …
Grief: Healing is in the Details
We are trained to look at the big things when we're grieving, but if we overlook the small things, we will miss important milestones toward healing.
Grief & Holiday Memories
You probably have a special memory you go back to this time of year, the season of the Grief Super Bowl, the annual apex of grieving. It’s likely a bittersweet replay. I go back in my mind to a little girl at a dining room table, feet on a trailer vent grate for warmth and …
The Duty of Legacy After a Death
Are you living with an eye toward legacy? What is legacy all about anyway? I think those of us who’ve had a parent die have thought about this word at least a little. And maybe we’ve wondered where it fits into our lives. The dictionary says legacy is anything handed down from the past, as …
Please Don’t Say “Happy Mother’s Day”
Would someone please tell church leaders not to say “Happy Mother’s Day” to every woman as she arrives for worship service? Please tell them they need a new script for the grieving. My mother is dead, and I am not a mother. And I am not alone in feeling left out by that welcome at …
When Your Mother Dies: Navigating Life & Loss Without Her
I found the homemade Mother’s Day card inside a box of her things, and I read what I’d written as a teenager. “If I didn’t have you what could I do?” At her house among her things, I thought, This is the question I’ve lived with since she died.