Grief: Healing is in the Details
We are trained to look at the big things when we're grieving, but if we overlook the small things, we will miss important milestones toward healing.
Grief & Holiday Memories
You probably have a special memory you go back to this time of year, the season of the Grief Super Bowl, the annual apex of grieving. It’s likely a bittersweet replay. I go back in my mind to a little girl at a dining room table, feet on a trailer vent grate for warmth and …
The Duty of Legacy After a Death
Are you living with an eye toward legacy? What is legacy all about anyway? I think those of us who’ve had a parent die have thought about this word at least a little. And maybe we’ve wondered where it fits into our lives. The dictionary says legacy is anything handed down from the past, as …
Please Don’t Say “Happy Mother’s Day”
Would someone please tell church leaders not to say “Happy Mother’s Day” to every woman as she arrives for worship service? Please tell them they need a new script for the grieving. My mother is dead, and I am not a mother. And I am not alone in feeling left out by that welcome at …
When Your Mother Dies: Navigating Life & Loss Without Her
I found the homemade Mother’s Day card inside a box of her things, and I read what I’d written as a teenager. “If I didn’t have you what could I do?” At her house among her things, I thought, This is the question I’ve lived with since she died.
Is Doing Grief Wrong Possible?
Give yourself credit. Even if you aren’t doing grief like your mother, best friend or neighbor. Even if you haven’t been out of bed in a week. Even if you still collapse in tears recalling how you missed your father’s last Christmas.
Rebuilding After the Fire
We’ve been in the fire almost a year now. The pandemic burned away life as we knew it. But in addition to a collective grief, we’ve fought our own personal, devastating fires. Do you feel like your life is burning down around you today? Been there. A few times in my life I’ve felt like …
3 Christmas Songs That Loss Changed Forever
Christmas won’t ever be the same after a parent dies and neither will the messages within some of our beloved songs. In the thick of grief, we may decide to rip off the volume knob, ban any Christmas tune. Or we may sing along. Whatever serves our healing is the right thing to do. Yes, …
Coping Without A Goodbye
I knew Mom would die, and I knew I couldn’t prevent it, but the one thing I asked God is that I’d be with her when she took her last breath. But I was not with her. This hurt as much as the fact that she was dead. I felt I had devastatingly failed her. …