Toni Lepeska
When a Parent Dies
Loss can feel like a great abyss, like my parents are a trillion miles in space, on a planet I’ve never seen, in a place I can neither fly to nor telephone. But death doesn’t end a relationship. Nor does it end a connection. No, it’s not the one I want. I want them here. …
I didn’t expect to take eight years cleaning out my parents’ home. But here I am. I also didn’t expect to feel walls of resistance erect inside of me, blocking my ability – or rather, my willingness – to throw away, give away or pack up their stuff. Propriety dictated I go over to their …
Do you feel safe? I don’t mean do you fear you’re in danger of being robbed or burgled or murdered. I mean do you feel like you are emotionally in a place of safety? I admit I haven’t always felt safe. In fact, one of the most unsafe times in my life was after my father …
I survived the yard sale without any major kick from grief to my insides. I’m not sure whether to celebrate that fact or bemoan it. The absence of grief is in itself a grief. I snapped a photo of my father’s fire engine red tool box at the feet of the buyer. I took other …
I’ve got a special relationship with stuff, but a professional organizer who visited our church this week challenged my attachment, not only to my belongings but to things I inherited from my parents. Kathy Armstrong lets go of things. I latch onto them with unmatched ferocity. I didn’t recognize the extent of my attachment until …
