Toni Lepeska
When a Parent Dies
I hauled the boxes down from the attic, opened the lid and picked out one of the objects inside. It had belonged to my parents. I held it as if it may break, and then I caressed it. I smiled. And then I cried. My mother and father felt so close. And so far away. …
What if you could hear your deceased parent tell a story you’ve never heard? What if you could discover thoughts they’d never expressed? What if you could get perspective they never gave you in life? If a parent or another loved one left behind a diary or journal – or even letters or tales of …
Under the bowels of the dressing room sink, I discovered a half-completed painting, a sort of portrait of an unfinished life It wasn’t the last evidence I’d find of a life interrupted. Nor the last grief trigger to cross my path. I found Mom’s half-done crossword puzzles. Her hand-drawn plans for a circular driveway that …
Delegating what to do with what the dead leave behind is a common ritual for the living. And when it’s your own loved one? In each slip of a paper and garment is a memory. Or a smell. A joy followed by a grief. For some, the task is too painful. They assign the job …
What do you hold onto that makes you feel close to your deceased loved one? Is it a shirt with their smell? A love letter? Or maybe it’s not an object but a shared cause or creed you foster. Connection. We all seek it but in different ways. I believe it is a critical component …
I helped my 10-year-old friend clean and organize her room. As she lobbied to keep a shoe that was about to fall apart, I saw shades of myself in her. And a characteristic of my mother. Her name, which I’m withholding, means moonlight. So I’ll call her Moonlight. An artist, Moonlight saw value in things …
I bet you inherited books. Maybe a Bible. Or a series of recipe books. Or maybe like me, you inherited enough books to fill a small library, too many to ever read during your busy life. What are you to do with them all? I suggest you examine them closely before deciding to haul them …
Death strips us all possessions. So it isn’t surprising that, yes, my parents left behind all their keys – a mass of keys that I combed through on the anniversary of Dad’s passing last week. Door keys. Car keys. Keys to the post office box I still rent. Keys to who knows what. They didn’t …
Value. We put a price on everything. On houses. Cars. Jewels. Stocks. Milk. Eggs. Our morning hit of java. We also put a price on people. On relationships. And on ourselves. We treat everything according to how much we value it. Or how we value him or her. We will protect our person from all …
