Toni Lepeska
When a Parent Dies
How should we respond when well-meaning people say things that injure us? Has anyone ever delivered any of these platitudes, clichés or other expressions meant to comfort you as a griever? “I know how you feel.” “Time heals all wounds.” “God must have needed her more.” “You can have more children.” “She’s in a better …
What is the impact of prolonged illness on grief? Does it give us time to get used to the idea of death? Does the anticipation in some way lessen the sting of loss? I think on these questions as we mark Parkinson’s Awareness Week and World Parkinson’s Day, April 10th on the 2019 calendar. My …
Why do we love sad movies? I’m no psychologist, but may I suggest that art helps us grieve. It helps us cope by showing us others grieve, maybe in a similar way as we have. And they lived to write a screenplay about it. Or a book. Or paint on canvass. How? We see if …
What changes the course of our grief? What puts us on the path of healing? What quiets the raging questions, self-accusatory thoughts and pit-sinking sorrow? May I suggest an “aha” moment – an epiphany. A sudden, transformative thought or realization that changes perspective and gives us release or relief – a piece of healing. I …
If there was a time I was stuck in my grief, it was the fall of 2013. In my frustration over lack of progress in multiple areas of my life, I berated myself with unkind thoughts. I toiled with several simultaneous issues – career, illness, relationships, professional envy. If my self-esteem had been a liquid, …
Blinding light streamed through the curtains and hit my canopy bed. I buried my face under the covers for as long as possible, but couldn’t escape. I cracked open my eyes. What was that on the dresser? A stuffed leopard. A container of chocolates. My eyes widened. Now I was ready to get up. I’ve …
Do you think life is a set of coincidences? Or do you believe a master engineer is guiding your life? I must say I believe the latter. Why? I keep bumping into people and opportunities that fit into my life and into my dreams. Sure, I’ve got to put my horse in the race, but …
For all the sifting I did through my parents’ things after they died, I did not find one indication they ever made New Year’s resolutions, but somehow the practice caught on with me. They did create goals from time to time and posted inspirational quotes and phrases. I’m more intentional. I divided my 2019 goals …
I’m starting the new year with a dollop of gratitude, and I’m starting with you. If you are reading this – and of course, you are – I want you to know I’m thankful. I’m thankful you are here. That you care. That you are one of the brave ones. Grief is scary. Painful. Difficult. …
