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Toni Lepeska

When a Parent Dies

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Toni Lepeska

The Longest Night of the Soul: Four Tips to Get Thru the Darkness

How do we survive the longest night of the soul? To whom or what can we turn? What hope is there to latch onto when our lives feel battered, damaged beyond repair? I pondered the longest nights of my soul the morning of the literal longest night of the year, December 21st, in the Northern …

Read moreThe Longest Night of the Soul: Four Tips to Get Thru the Darkness

4-Ingredient Recipe for Surviving Christmas Grief

As I tried to figure out how to put new life together after my parents’ death, I was tasked with figuring out what to do with their voluminous collection of cookbooks and recipes. It was Christmastime when I got to them. I’d held onto their home eight years, and I was still sorting not only …

Read more4-Ingredient Recipe for Surviving Christmas Grief

Should We Avoid Grief at Christmas?

I hauled the boxes down from the attic, opened the lid and picked out one of the objects inside. It had belonged to my parents. I held it as if it may break, and then I caressed it. I smiled. And then I cried. My mother and father felt so close. And so far away. …

Read moreShould We Avoid Grief at Christmas?

Re-evaluating Old Grief with New Eyes

A dozen thoughts whirl around my head about my parents and my care-giving days as I navigate a new, temporary reality – being the one to receive care. This reality is opening up an old chapter on my life that was filled with stress and grief. A chapter that I thought was behind me, fully …

Read moreRe-evaluating Old Grief with New Eyes

3 Year Anniversary & The Most Popular Posts – You Made It Possible

I want to thank you, each of this blog’s followers and readers, for your steadfast support and insightful comments. If you are new to this platform – and I know some folks have signed on recently – I want to extend a personal welcome. You are noticed. I can hardly believe this blog has been …

Read more3 Year Anniversary & The Most Popular Posts – You Made It Possible

When We Feel Stuck in Our Grief

How much should we focus on the progression of our grief? On whether we are “doing better”? The question came up this week when I received an email from a man who thought an associate was “stuck” in grief. He wanted assistance. He wanted the person to experience healing. A worthy desire. However, the person …

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We Want You To Listen

I found myself in a courtroom again recently, but this time I was there as a plaintiff in a civil matter instead of as a newspaper reporter. As I took a seat and waited for the judge to arrive, I glanced around. I checked out the at-ease lawyers in the front row and the anxious …

Read moreWe Want You To Listen

When We’re in a Cage

We’ve got a cage in our living room. There’s plenty of space for a bowl of water, a compact bed and turnaround provisions, but it is, nonetheless, a cage. Tuffy gives me the sad face. He knows this face works to get what he wants. Droopy eyes. Lowered head. Closed mouth. But not this time. …

Read moreWhen We’re in a Cage

The Saddest Birthdays: What Would Have Been

I want to tell you that my daddy turned 81 this week, that I made him a German chocolate cake, treated him to a big buffet lunch and gave him a beautiful card. But that would be misleading. The truth is, he would have turned 81 – the same age Mom was at death – …

Read moreThe Saddest Birthdays: What Would Have Been
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