Toni Lepeska
When a Parent Dies
I wait in line at the post office until James calls me forward. He offers a restrained greeting despite our connection. He knows who I am, but he’s in work mode. All business. I step up to the clerk’s counter that he’s stooped over. We make eye contact as his gnarled but muscular hands await …
We know grief usually evolves, becoming less intense and feeling more survivable years after the death of a parent. But how does that happen? Can we do or not do certain things to slow down or speed up our journey? Well, in a way, yes. In this article, I want to share what changed my …
What if you could hear your deceased parent tell a story you’ve never heard? What if you could discover thoughts they’d never expressed? What if you could get perspective they never gave you in life? If a parent or another loved one left behind a diary or journal – or even letters or tales of …
I wrote earlier this month about a long ago event of betrayal. Of pain. Of grief. Yes, I’m used to writing about grief, but not this grief, not this particular loss. The Wonder Report published the article My Dream Didn’t Come True, and Here’s Why It Was the Best Thing to Happen I began the story with …
Our sense of security is often rooted in our fathers. After my dad died, I called out to God spontaneously, “Send me a protector!” Where do we find that sense of safety that we lost? I caution not to go looking for it in a romance. That was my first go-to. I did not realize …
Do you ever step back and think, “Boy, if they could see me now”? Or maybe you think your parent or spouse is looking down from heaven and smiling at the person you’ve become. It’s been years, but we want to connect. We want to share. We want the loved one who died to be …
I hear voices, but don’t be concerned. I don’t need medicine. I don’t need a psychiatrist. You hear voices in your head, too. Our voices try to pull us down daily, feeding us messages of fear and inadequacy. They tinker with our sense of identity. They attack when we are weak from grief and stress. …
When you’ve lost your first love, your biggest fan, your highest image of womanhood, Mother’s Day is never the same again. A day set aside to express gratitude to her becomes a day of grief. I really hated Mother’s Day the first few years. I faced Mother’s Day’s Most Difficult Moment if I did not skip …
Letting go. The term and its derivatives come up frequently in grief circles. I detest them. I cringe when I hear them used. It’s typically thrust at us, as in, “You need to let go” or if you do this or that “then you will let go.” Or we ourselves decide our healing is in …
