3 Ways to Respond to Death Anniversaries
I call July “death month.” My parents died three years apart, both in July. I’ve been through lots of Julys now, and I’ve noticed three ways I’ve responded. I think they can help you, too.
To Mom: What Would I Do Without You?
I discovered the homemade Mother’s Day card inside a box of her things and read what I’d written at the bottom as a young teenager. “If I didn’t have you what could I do?” Indeed, I told myself, sitting in her house among her things, This is the question I’ve lived with since she died. …
Rescuing the Holiday from Expectations
I once wrote that each Christmas gets better and better after losing someone you love to the grave. I meant well, but I was wrong. Stay tuned. There’s hope in this story. Last year, a great pall fell upon me for reasons I cannot pinpoint. I was unhappy with Christmas. Go away. …
A Christmas Recipe: Putting Together a New Normal
I’m trying to figure out how to put my new life together. It’s been eight Christmases since I lost my mother and 11 since I lost my dad, and I still am trying to figure out this “new normal.” Especially this time of year. Maybe it’s like following a recipe. I don’t mean that …
Grief & Gratitude: What To Do When Thanksgiving Sucks
Thanksgiving is a complicated holiday for people grieving over the loss of loved ones. After all, thanksgiving is about what we have. Grief is about what we lost. I think this complexity is especially true if you’ve lost parents. They cooked the meal. They provided the centerpiece – love and warmth. And they provided the …