Toni Lepeska
When a Parent Dies
Would someone please tell church leaders not to say “Happy Mother’s Day” to every woman as she arrives for worship service? Please tell them they need a new script for the grieving. My mother is dead, and I am not a mother. And I am not alone in feeling left out by that welcome at …
We’ve been in the fire almost a year now. The pandemic burned away life as we knew it. But in addition to a collective grief, we’ve fought our own personal, devastating fires. Do you feel like your life is burning down around you today? Been there. A few times in my life I’ve felt like …
Are you going through a storm? Do you feel battered by the modern world’s equivalent of swirling winds and pounding rain in a sea of uncertainty? I remember the day my dad died. He was there, and then he was gone, and there was nothing I could do to bring him back. The storm of …
We hear the phrase slip out of the lips of well-meaning friends at funerals – and we hear it now that a pandemic seeds fear and anxiety into our hearts and lives. But what does “God is in control” really mean? First, what it does not mean? It does not mean God sets out to …
Our sense of security is often rooted in our fathers. After my dad died, I called out to God spontaneously, “Send me a protector!” Where do we find that sense of safety that we lost? I caution not to go looking for it in a romance. That was my first go-to. I did not realize …
Grief isn’t simply a loss of what was. It also is a loss for what might have been if mother, father, husband, sister, brother, grandparent or friend had lived. Because of this, life gives us endless opportunities to reflect on our loss. And yet, as I celebrated 10 years of marriage to my husband last …
Grief is surrounded by myths. Believing things that aren’t true isn’t healing and isn’t helpful. Myths cement us. We can’t move forward in our grief or, if we’re the comforting friend, we can’t be helpful. And in fact, we might accidentally injure our grieving loved one. When we don’t measure up to what our myths …
Daddy died, and I thought the universe owed me a break. My mother was terminally ill. And I had a chronic illness. I deserved a pass on all other trouble – or so I believed. And thus, understandably, I blew my top six months later when the guy I adored walked all over me and …
Is this from God or a tool of Satan? In religious circles, we wonder if a difficulty has been allowed by God to strengthen our faith or if it comes as an obstacle from the evil one. If we decide it’s from God, we may relax a bit, for we assume it was sent to …
