• Skip to main content
  • Skip to header left navigation
  • Skip to header right navigation
  • Skip to site footer
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • LinkedIn

  • Home
  • About Toni
  • Blog
ToniLepeskaLogoToniLepeskaLogo

Toni Lepeska

When a Parent Dies

  • Speaking
    • Media Kit
  • Contact
  • Resources

The Only Key We Need

July 18, 2018 Category: Cleaning Out the House

Death strips us all possessions. So it isn’t surprising that, yes, my parents left behind all their keys – a mass of keys that I combed through on the anniversary of Dad’s passing last week.

Door keys. Car keys. Keys to the post office box I still rent. Keys to who knows what. They didn’t take a one with them. They left them to me to sort through and dispose of.parentkeys.jpg

I remember as a child sitting in the back seat of my parents Chevy, playing with a set of their keys. That’s before we had smart phones and television reception to entertain children in cars.

“What’s this one to?” I asked, dangling one key between my thumb and index finger. My mother craned her head to the left, between the seats.

“I don’t know,” she said. My father didn’t know, either.

I thought for sure they’d already approached senility. How could one not know what a key unlocks? I didn’t know then that you can amass so many possessions and so many keys that you lose track of what goes to what. Earlier this summer, my husband and I got out our keys.

“What’s this go to?” my husband said.

“I don’t know,” I said.

Oh goodness! I thought, standing at the kitchen table. I’ve become my parents!

The mass of keys at my parents’ house was one of the last things I packed up when I sold their house in May. I put them in a plastic bin with other last minute things, but I slugged around about deciding what to do with the stuff inside the bin until July 9th, the 12th anniversary of Dad’s passing. I then got out the keys and counted them – 43 loose and ringed keys.

I had hung onto those keys for nearly nine years waiting to discover what they matched. Except for six or so of them, I still don’t know. Obviously, whatever they went to wasn’t in their home.

Keys symbolize possession. I cling to possessions. Not in a materialistic way really but as keepsakes. As a way to hold onto memories. To hold onto people I love.

Someday I’ll leave my all my “keys,” too. All my possessions will be left for someone else to sort. To keep. To sell. To giveaway. To throw away, as I did with most of those keys.

Our mortality is a painful reality. It was never as evident to me as when I soaked in my parents’ absence among the presence of their cherished possessions. They just wouldn’t leave their stuff unless we had to. Unless they were dead. As I realized this, I felt enveloped by powerlessness.

I cannot emphasize enough the hope encapsulated within that reality because it’s only when we stop trying to be immortal on our own that we can capture a joyfully glorious immortality.

Grief is a gateway to God. Others may come along side us but they cannot completely understand our individualized loss. If we are willing, we may fully utilize the grief process to reach out for the Creator in our powerlessness, release self-effort, and offer faith in his provision to get to heaven. To have relationship with him.

My parents took only one “key” with them. It was their faith. That unlocked God’s provision and the gates of heaven.

They don’t need those keys I collected from their house anymore. When I realized my parents had what they needed, it was easier for me to let go of the keys, too.

Tell the truth. Do you have keys and don’t know what they unlock?

 

Copyright © 2018 by Toni Lepeska. All rights reserved. www.tonilepeska.com

 

 

Category: Cleaning Out the HouseTag: Cleaning out parents house, Grief, key collection, loss of parent, toni lepeska

you may also love

Inherited Stuff: Three Questions To Help With the Clean Out

Do You Grieve for Grief?

How Can We Feel Safe?

Cleaning Out a Deceased Loved One’s Home: Four Tips to Spark the Process

Death Does Not End Relationship, Letter Reveals to Daughter

Finding Love in a Card

Previous Post:Direction at the Crossroads
Next Post:When Death Shakes Our Identity

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Sheryl M. Baker

    July 19, 2018 at 8:06 pm

    Oh my, yes. I have some keys. Not as many as 43, but my fair share. I love your paragraph “My parents took only one “key” with them. It was their faith. That unlocked God’s provision and the gates of heaven.” So true. We definitely need only one key. Thanks fo sharing, Toni.

    Reply
    • Toni Lepeska

      July 19, 2018 at 8:26 pm

      Thxs. I had not thought of it untii I dealt with what to do with the keys. That’s whats neat about going thru loved ones things with a hurt but open heart. So much revelation and perspective.

      Reply
  2. Tisha

    July 22, 2018 at 2:57 pm

    Toni, this blog post is powerful. I loved the truth that we don’t need keys, necessarily, to get us through, but we need faith to get us through. There’s healing in that. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.

    Reply
    • Toni Lepeska

      July 22, 2018 at 5:02 pm

      Tisha, I’m so glad this ministered to you and served you well, and thank you for the affirmation. If only faith was as easy as picking up a key. 🙂 But when it is hard won, we know it isn’t something that will slip through our hands.

      Reply
      • Tisha

        July 22, 2018 at 7:27 pm

        Yes, Toni, that is so very true. Sometimes, though, it’s crazy when my key doesn’t fit in the keyhole… 😉 Also, faith that can’t be tested can’t be trusted … for, what have we if no one can see our faith?

        Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Sidebar

Sign up for my Newsletter

and get a FREE email bonus for subscribing to my latest posts

The form you have selected does not exist.

  • Home
  • Blog
  • About Toni
  • Speaking
  • Media Kit
  • Contact
  • Resources
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Privacy Policy

Follow Me On

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • LinkedIn

ToniLepeskaLogo