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Toni Lepeska

When a Parent Dies

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Grief

Grief: Healing is in the Details

We are trained to look at the big things when we're grieving, but if we overlook the small things, we will miss important milestones toward healing.

Read moreGrief: Healing is in the Details
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Grief & Holiday Memories

You probably have a special memory you go back to this time of year, the season of the Grief Super Bowl, the annual apex of grieving. It’s likely a bittersweet replay. I go back in my mind to a little girl at a dining room table, feet on a trailer vent grate for warmth and …

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When Your Mother Dies: Navigating Life & Loss Without Her

I found the homemade Mother’s Day card inside a box of her things, and I read what I’d written as a teenager. “If I didn’t have you what could I do?” At her house among her things, I thought, This is the question I’ve lived with since she died.

Read moreWhen Your Mother Dies: Navigating Life & Loss Without Her

Is Doing Grief Wrong Possible?

Give yourself credit. Even if you aren’t doing grief like your mother, best friend or neighbor. Even if you haven’t been out of bed in a week. Even if you still collapse in tears recalling how you missed your father’s last Christmas.

Read moreIs Doing Grief Wrong Possible?

Rebuilding After the Fire

We’ve been in the fire almost a year now. The pandemic burned away life as we knew it. But in addition to a collective grief, we’ve fought our own personal, devastating fires. Do you feel like your life is burning down around you today? Been there. A few times in my life I’ve felt like …

Read moreRebuilding After the Fire

3 Christmas Songs That Loss Changed Forever

Christmas won’t ever be the same after a parent dies and neither will the messages within some of our beloved songs. In the thick of grief, we may decide to rip off the volume knob, ban any Christmas tune. Or we may sing along. Whatever serves our healing is the right thing to do. Yes, …

Read more3 Christmas Songs That Loss Changed Forever

Coping Without A Goodbye

I knew Mom would die, and I knew I couldn’t prevent it, but the one thing I asked God is that I’d be with her when she took her last breath. But I was not with her. This hurt as much as the fact that she was dead. I felt I had devastatingly failed her. …

Read moreCoping Without A Goodbye

My parents are dead – So how can I be grateful at Thanksgiving?

The pandemic. The political tension. The demands of social distancing on a holiday designed for togetherness. I thought I'd republish last year's blog this Thanksgiving - because we all could use a refresher on being grateful when circumstances are pulling us apart.

Read moreMy parents are dead – So how can I be grateful at Thanksgiving?

Recipe Keepsakes: Tasting the Grief, Love at Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is the time of year we taste our grief. Literally. I mean, no one makes homemade cornbread dressing like Mom. But … she isn’t here anymore to make it. It cannot be the same … So, like any perfectly sentimental daughter, I always make dressing, aka, stuffing, in just the way Mom made dressing. …

Read moreRecipe Keepsakes: Tasting the Grief, Love at Thanksgiving
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