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Toni Lepeska

When a Parent Dies

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Letting Go of Where You Grew Up

April 25, 2018 Category: Cleaning Out the House, Grief & Passage of Time

I lifted the piece of plastic under the gutter drain and plucked a worm from the damp soil. I walked to the little girl at the end of my parents’ driveway, the gateway to 13 acres of beauty.

She was visiting with her parents, the people buying the property that’s been in my family 45 years. Her brother watched. At almost 7, he was the age I’d been when we’d bought the land.

“Do you like worms?” I asked the girl. I put the squiggling thing in her open, outstretched palm. “When I was a little girl growing up here, I found all kinds of creatures. Like turtles.”House4

Her brother stepped closer. Together, the children examined the worm and then placed it in the grass. As their 2-year-old brother stayed close to his parents, the two older children soon were on to another adventure, watching a circle of ants work to get a flying insect down their hole.

Life comes full circle. This chance meeting – the family had come out to walk the property but were not aware I’d be on site – felt like a handing off of a baton. And though it is the parents who are buying my folks’ property, it is the children whom I feel I’m handing a legacy. The place I grew up will become the home where they will grow up.

I get the impression this young family intends to stay here for a very long time. The children will become teenagers here, perhaps eventually nurse aging parents here, and then, as I did, go through belongings and decide what to keep and what to discard. The house will look different – the new owners plan to renovate it – but the attachment and love will be similar.

Having a young family buy the property is an answer to prayer. It helps knowing a new story will be written at the house. The chapters I wrote at that place will always be a part of me, and I will continue to talk and write about my experiences there, but I do feel a sense of newness in my own life, and that is helping me turn the property over to others. A new era is beginning.

Stretching out for what’s new is essential to healing. I don’t pretend that healing from a loss is ever complete on this Earth, but we can grow into a spot where we can smile again, love again, be excited about life again. We won’t focus on the loss as much, but on the blessings of the love.

What new pursuit or new situation is helping you look expectantly ahead?

 

Copyright © 2018 by Toni Lepeska. All rights reserved. www.tonilepeska.com

 

Category: Cleaning Out the House, Grief & Passage of TimeTag: Grief, letting go of parent home, Loss, selling parents home, toni lepeska

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Polly

    April 25, 2018 at 10:50 am

    Love this. All of it.

    Reply
    • Toni Lepeska

      April 25, 2018 at 11:03 am

      Thanks, Polly. You often cross my mind when I write, though I don’t know all the particulars of your situation at present. Let’s visit soon!

      Reply
  2. Jennifer M.

    April 25, 2018 at 5:51 pm

    God makes all things new! I really enjoyed your story.

    Reply
    • Toni Lepeska

      April 25, 2018 at 7:32 pm

      Thanks, Jen. A-men!

      Reply
  3. Sheryl M. Baker

    April 25, 2018 at 7:42 pm

    Hi Toni..It has been a joy watching you progress through this journey over the past couple of years. Your blogs have brought insight and a closer connection to you. It has been very special to me. I am so glad that a young family will be making memories in your childhood home. I know that means a lot to you. Thanks for sharing a part of you with your readers.

    Reply
    • Toni Lepeska

      April 25, 2018 at 7:46 pm

      Thanks, Sheryl. I miss you and enjoy getting to know you but hope we will see each other again. I appreciate all your encouragement. You are so faithful. You are right, yes, I am grateful for a young family. I am hoping we will all become friends.

      Reply
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      June 16, 2019 at 10:37 pm

      Hi! Thanks for your interest and the compliment. I wouldn’t say that it does require a ton of work – but it does require consistency. You don’t have to post every day, but you do need to post regularly. I’m no expert – and I was intimidated by the whole process – but I’ve learned a lot since starting in Nov. 2016. There’s lots on the Internet about blogging. That’s how I learned, and I learned at writer’s conferences. There are also books. But there is a parallel between how much work you put in and how successful your blog will be. So my advice to you is begin learning, determine what subject(s) you want to cover, your target audience, and begin writing! Good luck!!!

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Trackbacks

  1. Grief and Letting Go of Where You Grew Up | Toni Lepeska | Loss, Grief, Bereavement and Life Transitions Resource Library says:
    December 4, 2019 at 4:12 pm

    […] via Letting Go of Where You Grew Up | Toni Lepeska […]

    Reply
  2. That Grief Term: “Letting Go” – Parents' Effects says:
    June 1, 2021 at 12:11 am

    […] It seems so long ago that I sold the house where I grew up, the place where my parents died. I suppose that means my life has been filled with other pursuits for a year, but do not assume I did not miss the place. In fact, I’ve grieved letting it go. You can learn more about surviving this process in Letting Go of Where You Grew Up […]

    Reply

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