No Fear – Our Father Is in the Room

Did you ever imagine monsters were under your bed or in your closet? What did you do as you huddled under the covers? You called out to your parents, right?

Did they speak softly to your fears? And did you hope they’d stay in the room all night? You were sure to be safe with your mother or father in the room.

Or maybe you drifted asleep in complete peace with them in the house. You knew they would come to your side at the slightest cry.

We don’t grow up, not completely. We’re adult orphans now, and we wish they’d appear in the doorway of our dark room to rescue us from the monsters. Monsters like loneliness, depression, rage, regret, resentment and fear. If only our parents were here, they would chase away the yearning carved into our souls the day they died.

Earlier this month, I was driving to the cemetery 14 years to the day my daddy died. That’s when “The Father’s House” by Cory Asbury came on the radio. The song conveys that “failure’s never final” with a God who sees beyond shortcomings. He offers to take up our burdens and love us through this rocky journey called life.

The Jericho walls are quaking
Strongholds now are shaking
Love is breaking through
When the Father’s in the room

As I listened, I pictured a sparse room of white. I sat in a chair. An enemy stood across the room glaring at me. But behind my chair stood the Heavenly Father, his hands resting near my shoulders. At various times, I pictured Dad standing behind me instead.

I had a good dad, but I didn’t realize back then the extent to which he had my back. I allowed fear to convince me I was alone. Unprotected. Powerlessly helpless.

And then Dad died, and I didn’t know how I’d cope. I was unmarried and ill prepared to be a caregiver to my mom. Stress permeated my world.

I would have told you then that God was with me. He protects his children. But my actions didn’t line up to the head knowledge. I took the first hand that offered to be my safe place, my protector. As the months ticked by, I felt less safe than ever.

After the damage was done, the boyfriend moved on. Years later, he damaged someone else, then killed himself.

But the Father was in the house.

My failure – my ill-advised pursuit – was not final. I was almost 40, but God still had a plan for me. He cared about my dreams. I soon met and married a wonderful man. Richard was there for me when Mom died. In the years that followed, I got to know God better. He healed my wounds.

I came to understand the Heavenly Father was always in the room, behind my chair. I had not faced any sort of enemy alone. In fact, the Father always had a protective plan. I was always safe. The dark monsters came. I had to face them, but the Father was in the room. I was never alone. My protector was standing guard.

As I sorted through my parents’ belongings after their deaths, I discovered Dad’s prayer list in a devotional book. My name was near the top. It was a year I really needed prayer. I really needed him. And he was there, but he also was thinking of me and praying for me at times that I was unaware.

Now with two children who aren’t mine but that I adore, I understand parenthood better. I think about them all the time. I pray for them daily. When I think I haven’t seen them in a week, I realize it’s only been three days. I want to soothe their fears and guide them through life’s landmines. I’m blessed to be among their helpers.

Our Heavenly Father offers nothing less. He’s in the room. We face monsters that rise up during our grief journey to whop us on the head. Monsters that tell us we weren’t the best children or that recite all those “if only” comments.

Our powerful Creator offers to transform our burdens and pull blessings from them. Nothing will fatally hurt us when the Father’s in the room.

Copyright © 2020 by Toni Lepeska. All rights reserved. www.tonilepeska.com